the Lord leads

God is continuously showing me that every inch I give Him is a win.

He wrestled a God-man and he lived, and he came away having been blessed. He was broken in his body. He had no hope necessarily against his brother's rage. Who can sway a man's heart? God had to be the one to change Esau. He had to be number One. Surrendered to in allll the ways that Jacob had remotely succeeded in before. His schemes and flocks of goats and strength wouldn't last him into eternity, but this meeting with God did last. It showed him his need, his blatant inadequacy.
How much in NEED are we? Do we sob because our hearts our being ground into a fine soot? And do we believe that it's all for a picture in the end? A specific tapestry is being woven and we can be used. If we're chosen.

"Life is But a Weaving"

My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I cannot choose the colors
He weaveth steadily.

Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow;
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.

Not ‘til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And reveal the reason why...


Anonymous (as quoted by Corrie Ten Boom)

"Criminy" is apparently a mild oath or exclamation comparable to "Jesus Christ!"
So it's not appropriate to mutter/yell "Criminy, what have I done?!" but I will stew in regret.