the Lord leads

I make coffee now for my income--I have a stable one now, as opposed to on-call nanny and assistant jobs. It's great fun and I come home everyday smelling like exotic beans.

If I open the shop I need to wake up at 3:30 AM, if I close I get home about midnight. My dad works hard and always wakes up early so the hours don't seem extreme to me, but I myself never had to do it aside from corporate exercise at the H.A., which isn't all too early. I'm grateful for espresso.

That verse,
"A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest; so shall your poverty come like a prowler..."

Think. Sleep is needed for these earthly vessels of ours. But when we swat away the needs of others or our promises to G-d just so we can get some more shuteye, we take the lame way out. We're suckers.

"Oh, G-d, please understand, I'm just so tired and this pillow is soft and and and and..."

He understands our humanity. He comprehends that weakness of ours. But do I fully understand it? Because every time I go to bed instead of going to G-d, that weak part of me totally gets fed. It's a terrible eater.

Believe me, please: a comfortable Christian walk becomes a deaf one. You don't hear G-d because you're busy saying yes to yourself.

It's quirky that self-satisfying is not satisfying at all.

I'm fasting for Erika during her ESOAL. I hope she dies to herself even right now.

Depend on G-d, dearest Erika!